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A to Z Nursing Topics
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"I'm going fishing."
"I'm going
hunting"
"Let's take your car."
"Woman driver."
"I don't care what color you paint the
kitchen."
"It's a guy
thing."
"Can I help with dinner?"
"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes,
dear."
"Good idea."
"Have
you lost weight?"
"My wife doesn't understand
me."
"It would take
too long to explain."
"I'm getting more exercise lately."
"I got a lot done."
"We're going to be late."
"Hey, I've read
all the classics."
"You cook just like my
mother used to."
"I was listening to
you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
"Take
a break, honey, you're working too hard."
"That's interesting,
dear."
"Honey, we don't need material things to prove
our love."
"You expect too much of me."
"It's a really good movie."
Home Repairs, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
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Why Cats Are Better Than Men, Battles of The Sexes Jokes, Cat-Pet Humor:
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25 Year Old Breasts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
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Top Ten Reasons Why God Created Eve, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Top Ten Humor:
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17 Ways To Be A WOMAN.... From A Somewhat Bitter Man, Battle of The Sexes:
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The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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Name Calling, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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A Real Lady, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor
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Mating Bulls, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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Five Kinds of Sex, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
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Men Are Like . . ., Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor:
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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
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The Escapee, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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The Blind Date, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:
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The New Girlfriend, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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Pros of Being A Woman, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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If You Love It, Set It Free, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
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A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
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How To Impress, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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Great Female Comebacks, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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His and Her Road Trip, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor
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And You Wonder "Why" It Didn't Last, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
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Because I'm A Guy, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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The Gentleman On The Bus, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor
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If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
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A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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If Men Wrote The Rules, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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What Women Know About Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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All Wives Are Alike, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor
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Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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Definitely Warm, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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I Just Want You To Hold Me Tonight
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A Dictionary of Dating
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Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean:
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I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a woman:
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Male Bashing:
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Two Gifts For Adam & Eve,
Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
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Why Men Can't Win
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Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective
http://www.nursinghumor.com/appreciate
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Viagra Funnies
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Bachelorette Party Fun:"Bachelorette Party Fun is your number one source for planning a bachelorette party or sorority party. Our free articles will help you plan every aspect including bachelorette party ideas, games, party favors, drinks and food for your bachelorette party or sorority party. From party supplies to the party favors, we'll help make your bachelorette party a very memorable one."
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Viagra Jokes:
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Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses."
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Created on September 8, 2000
Last updated by Andrew
Lopez, RN on Monday, January 25, 2010
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Translating Men, What They Say
& What They Mean, Battle of The Sexes
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with
a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand in the woods with
a lethal weapon in my hand, shooting at anything that makes a noise that
isn't blaze orange. I think my friends and I will all be back in one
piece...(unless, of course, we blow a fuse in the truck on the way home!)"
Really means....
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."
Really means....
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has
a better driving record than me."
Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray,
mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."
Really means....
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no
chance at all of making it logical."
Really means....
"Why isn't it already on the table?"
Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog
drooling.
Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."
Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."
Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."
Really means....
"I have no idea how it works."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."
Really means....
"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."
Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
Really means....
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."
Really means....
"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."
Really means....
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."
Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?"
Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."
Really means....
"You want me to stay awake."
Really means....
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear."
"That's women's
work."
Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
"Go ask your mother."
Really means....
"I am incapable of making a decision."
"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means....
"I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I
ever kissed, and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever
owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I was just thinking about you, and
got you these roses."
Really means....
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"Football is a
man's game."
Really means....
"Women are generally too smart to play it."
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut
myself, it's no big deal."
Really means....
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit
I'm hurt."
"I do help around the house."
Really means....
"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
"Hey, I've got my reasons
for what I'm doing."
Really means....
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I can't find it."
Really means....
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"What did I do this time?"
Really means....
"What did you catch me at?"
"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
Really means....
"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."
"She's one of those rabid feminists."
Really means....
"She refused to make my coffee."
"But I hate to go shopping."
Really means....
"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse."
"No, I left plenty of gas in the car."
Really means....
"You may actually get it to start."
"I'm going to stop off for a quick
one with the guys."
Really means....
"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest
pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions."
"I heard you."
Really means....
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately
that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days
yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means....
"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"You look terrific."
Really means....
"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
"I brought
you a present."
Really means....
"It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."
"I missed you."
Really means....
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet
paper."
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means....
"No one will ever see us alive again."
"We share the housework."
Really means....
"I make the messes, she cleans them up."
"This relationship is getting
too serious."
Really means....
"I like you more than my truck."
"I recycle."
Really means...
"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties."
"Of course I like
it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means....
"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"
"It sure snowed last night."
Really means....
"I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now."
"It's
good beer."
Really means....
"It was on sale."
"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means....
"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help."
"I'll
fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means....
"If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."
"I'll
take you to a fancy restaurant."
Really means....
"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."
"I broke up with her."
Really means....
"She dumped me."
"Will you marry me?"
Really means....
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is
no more peanut butter."
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