Nursing & Healthcare Directories on: The Nursefriendly
Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor

The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych

NursingHumor.com (homepage)

To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com

******************************************************

Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go.

Jon was called into the doctor's office first and asked if he understood that he'd be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?"

Jon said, "I'd be half blind." "That's correct. What if I poked out both of your eyes?" "I'd be completely blind." The doctor got up, shook his hand and told him he was free.

On Jon's way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Dave. He told him what questions were going to be asked, and told him the answers. Dave was called in. The doctor went through the formalities and asked, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?"

Dave, remembering what Jon said was the correct answer, he said, "I'd be half blind." The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. "What if I cut off both of your ears?" "I'd be completely blind." Dave answered. "Dave, can you explain how you'd be blind?" "My hat would fall over my eyes."

******************************************************

******************************************************

See also: Mental Health Articles, Mental Health Law, Mental Health, Psychiatric Associations, Direct Psychiatric Patient Care, Psychiatric Nurses

******************************************************

Psychiatric Chiropractor

Q: Did you hear one about the Psychiatric Chiropractor?

A: He specializes in attitude adjustments!

******************************************************

After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured.

A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."

******************************************************

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols

******************************************************

Are You Insane? Psychiatric Jokes, Mental Health Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/insane

******************************************************

Concerned Mother, Psychiatric Jokes, Prescription Drug Humor:"The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerned

******************************************************

Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/advice

******************************************************

Hung Up To Dry, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dry

******************************************************

Obsessions, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions," he observed."
http://www.nursinghumor.com/obsessions

******************************************************

Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes
http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline

******************************************************

Working In The Dark, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/dark

******************************************************

******************************************************

Freudian Slip:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile."
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/94q4/smallprick.html

******************************************************

Med-Psych Network, Medical Jokes and Cartoons:""One of the internet's largest collections of medical jokes and cartoons, sorted by medical speciality."
http://www.med-psych.net/links/Medical_Humor-Jokes_and_Cartoons/

******************************************************

PsYcHo NuRsE's Padded Room:"I'm Psycho Nurse. Have you ever entertained nurse fantasies that involved buxom beauties passing out the latest pain killers, enemas, or sponge baths? That's precisely why I've gone psycho! I'm so tired of all the nursing stereotypes that most of you unimaginative perverts come up with. I've been a Med/Surg/Oncology Nurse for the past 15 years (and am now working in the ICU), and I've seen too much death and suffering to cater to your lame sexual fantasies. If you're expecting me to be nice to you just because you're a flirt or because you think you're the best lover in the world, you can just take a nice long gulp out of this bedpan."
http://www.zianet.com/madrids/psychonurse.html

******************************************************

Psychobabble Glossary: Learn the true meaning of the words and phrases your mental health professionals use to mislead and confuse you.:"New definitions are being received and verified as you read this. To submit a definition for possible publication on these pages, use our on-line contact form. We do not give by-name credit for the definitions we receive, publication of the definition itself is considered adequate reward. You don't get any more than that from your boss, why should you get it from us? There is no express or implied guarantee that submitted definitions will be published at the site."
http://www.drleons.com/babble.htm

******************************************************

Sanity Test:"Have you ever... 1. tried to shoot a rubber band at someone only to end up shooting yourself? 2. stared at a rotating ceiling fan to see if you can follow one of the blades?"
http://glazeddoughnut.us/sanity/index.php

******************************************************

Save Your Sanity In Half An Hour:"OK, so the CIA is investigating that mountain of dirty laundry in your bathroom to see if Osama bin Laden is hiding under it. You've forgotten what your family looks like. And you've discovered that your med-surg textbook makes a pretty comfy pillow."
http://members.tripod.com/~studentnurse/sanity.html

******************************************************

******************************************************

Psychiatric (Mental Health) Clinical Nursing Case Studies:
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

October 15, 2000: Physician Restraint Orders Unclear On Transfer, Do You Apply In The Interim?
Summary: The use of Mechanical or Physical Restraints on confused patients is highly controversial. Due to substantial Death & Injury attributed to their use they are considered a last resort measure in providing for the safety of a patient. In this case, orders specifying what restraints and when they were to be used were unclear. In a patient that was clearly at high risk for injury, should they have been applied till the physician could have been contacted?
Tousignant v. St. Louis County, 602 N.W.2d 882 - MN (1999)

******************************************************

Psychiatric Nurse "Misses" Festering Wound Infection? Is She Held To The Same Standard?:"Registered Nurses in their training cover each of the accepted areas that a new graduate might be expected to work in. Once in the field, it is expected that additional and specific training to a Department or Specialty will be obtained. In this case, the Psychiatric nurses did not pick up on a festering infection in a patient that had tried to commit suicide. Was the fact that they were Psychiatric nurses a valid excuse?"
http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/clinical.cases/101799.htm

******************************************************

******************************************************

******************************************************

Google
 
Nursing Topics, A to Z: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K L, M, N, O, P, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

To subscribe to our:

Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter:

Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursefriendly.com

Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day.

Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com
http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/

Clinical Nursing Cases:

Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.nursingcasestudy.com

Inspirational Stories:

Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

If your website is not listed here, we encourage you to submit it: Add Your Website/URL.

See also:

Nursing Degrees, LPN-RN, RN-BSN, RN-MSN, Online/Offline College, University and more!:"Higher income. Career mobility. Now, no matter where you live or what your schedule, you can earn your Associate or Bachelor Degree to take your professional life to the next level — without putting the rest of your life on hold!"

If you do any Browsing or Windowshopping online, please visit our online Mall:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/shopping/

Gifts For Nurses:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/gifts/

4nursinguniforms.com:"Choose from Top Nursing Uniform Companies. All sizes, styles and popular name brands available. Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie "
4nursinguniforms.com

Surprised? eBay Has Nursing Supplies, scrubs, uniforms, stethescopes, etc.:"You can find nursing supplies right here! With over 5 million items for sale every day, you'll find the nursing supplies you're looking for at the world's online marketplace - eBay!"
http://www.nursefriendly.com/ebay/

Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses."
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881
http://www.nursefriendly.com/station/

Nursing In The Media, Nursingadvocacy.org