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Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes

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Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth and mother's maiden name

If you are anal retentive, please hold.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up now. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the * key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

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Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses."
Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881
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Nursing In The Media, Nursingadvocacy.org

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