Online/Offline Graduate/Undergraduate Education, Nursing Degrees, LPN-RN, RN-BSN, RN-MSN, and more! Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, A to Z List: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com ****************************************************** Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice. Q: What do a lawyer and sperm have in comon? A: They both have a one in a million chance of being human. Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A1: Take your foot off his head. A2: No? Good! Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of $%!*? A: The bucket. Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his &*$%. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer? A. In the cemetary Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance. Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Up in heaven there is a white picket fence. On one side stood GOD on the other side stood satan and a few of his henchmen. The devilshelpers were kicking holes in the fence. GOD said "if you don't tell them to stop, I'll sue you". Satan started laughing and replied "You think you'll find a lawyer on your side of the fence"? ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Enter your search terms Submit search form   Web www.nursefriendly.com www.nursinga2z.com www.nursinghumor.com Nursing Topics, A to Z: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K L, M, N, O, P, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z To subscribe to our: Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter: Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursefriendly.com Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day. 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Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie " 4nursinguniforms.com Search For Scrubs, Uniforms & More on eBay! Choose Nursing Uniforms, Shoes, Scrubs, Accessories By Brand: Barco, Birkenstock, Cherokee, Crest, Dickies, Disney, Haflinger, Landau, Nurse Mates, Peaches, Rockport, Romika, White Cross, White Swan See also: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie Surprised? eBay Has Nursing Supplies, scrubs, uniforms, stethescopes, etc.:"You can find nursing supplies right here! With over 5 million items for sale every day, you'll find the nursing supplies you're looking for at the world's online marketplace - eBay!" http://www.nursefriendly.com/ebay/ Nurses' Station:"The idea for the Nurses' Station Catalog was conceived in 1989. After searching the marketplace in response to customer inquiries, it became obvious that there were no catalogs of this type serving the nursing profession. To be sure, there were several catalogs offering nurse's uniforms and a smattering of professional items. But there weren't any catalogs at the time offering a range of gifts, clothing, professional items, name badges, shoes and scrubs for nurses. It took two years of hard work to gather samples and put a together a catalog of the most unique and high-quality items for nurses." Nurses Station P.O. Box 388 Centerbrook, CT 06409-03881 http://www.nursefriendly.com/station/ Nursing In The Media, Nursingadvocacy.org ER:"Media products under your influence, particularly the NBC/Warner drama "ER," are harming the profession of 2.7 million American nurses by giving the public an inaccurate and inadequate account of what nurses really do to save and improve lives. Research suggests that "ER" strongly and negatively influences the way children view nursing. These products contribute to the nursing shortage, a public health crisis that threatens millions worldwide." NBC's "Passions":"NBC's "Passions" solves nursing shortage: monkeys can do the job! Starting in March 2003 and at least as recently as late August, NBC's campy, supernatural daytime soap opera "Passions" has featured an orangutan named Precious in the role of the private duty nurse of one of its characters--a bold step backwards in the already slow...evolution...of the media's treatment of nurses. more..." "Scrubs" defines nursing:""Scrubs" defines nursing: it's all about shutting up and following physician "orders. " Tonight's episode of NBC's "Scrubs," which purports to teach nurse Carla Espinosa that nursing is all about doing what physicians tell you, is one of the most virulently anti-nurse prime time television episodes the Center has ever seen. more..." http://www.nursingadvocacy.org/ Nursing Chat, Nurse Discussion Forums: http://nursingdiscussions.com Alphabetical Nursing Topic Discussion, Chat List Are good CNA jobs that hard to find? Being A Male Nurse Curtailing Workplace Gossip Dealing With Confrontation In Nursing Degree Vs Diploma EKG Classes First Year On The Floor Horror Stories -- working short staffed How Many Hours A Week Do You Work Impaired Nurses Liability Question for Experienced Nurses LPN vs. RN vs. BSN, etc... Male Nurses Mandatory BSN to practice nursing being considered Mean Age of RNs Military Nursing More Foreign Nurses, Is It A Plot? Nurse Entrepreneurs Nurses Aides, Can't Live With Them. . . Nurses In Recovery: Nursing & Adult ADD Put Male Nurses In Panties Rude Doctors Specialty Nursing Staff Nurses Tattoos In The Workplace The Nursing Shortage, Your Opinions To Stay In Nursing or Not Travel Nurses Talk Travel Nursing Workplace Violence, Horizontal Violence Against Nurses ****************************************************** ******************************************************

NursingHumor.com (homepage) Bedside Nursing Humor Cartoons and Comics (Nursing & Medical) Charge Nurse Jokes Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links Dental Humor Emergency Department Jokes, ER Humor EMT, Paramedic Jokes, Prehospital Humor Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor Medical Humor Medical Terminology More Like This . . . . nursefriendly.com (homepage) Add URL Contact Us (Ask a Nurse) Linking Policy Top Nursing Topics: A to Z Nursing Topics About Nursing: Certified Nursing Assistants, CNAs Disabled Nurses Impaired Nurses LPNs, LVNs Registered Nurses, (RNs) Advanced Practice Nurses (APNs) Clinical Nurse Specialists (CNS) Nurse Practitioners (NPs) Ask The Nurse Associations (Nursing) Authors (Nursing) Nursing Blog Boards of Nursing (State) Burnout (Nursing) Businesses (Nurse-Owned) Brainteasers Care Plans (Nursing) Careers In Nursing Case Studies (Malpractice) CEUs (Nursing) Commonly Used Drugs Chat (Nursing) Clothes (Nursing) Colleges (Nursing) Current Events, Nursing News Degrees in Nursing Discussions (Nursing) Downloads (Nursing Torrent) Drugs (Commonly Used) Education (Nursing) Employment (Nursing) Entrepreneurs (Nurse) Equipment (Medical) Forensic Nursing Gifts For Nurses Going Shopping Health & Wellness Health Insurance Healthcare Unions, Nursing Unions, Organized Labor History of Nursing Hospitals, Medical Centers Informatics Nurses Intravenous (IV) & Infusion Therapy Jobs in Nursing Jokes (Nursing) Journals (Nursing) Long Term Care, Nursing Homes Male Nurses Malpractice Cases Medical Centers, Hospitals Medical Equipment Medical Humor, Nursing Jokes Men in Nursing Nurse Training Nurse Entrepreneurs Nursing Associations Nursing Authors Nursing Burnout Nursing Care Plans Nursing Careers Nursing (CEUs) Nursing Boards Nursing Clothes, Scrubs, Uniforms Nursing Colleges, Schools Nursing Degrees Nursing Discussions Nursing Education Nursing Employment Nursing Entrepreneurs Nursing Gifts Nursing Homes, Long Term Care Nursing Informatics Nursing Jobs Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor Nursing Journals Nursing History Nursing Malpractice Cases Nursing News Nursing Pay Nursing Programs Nursing Refresher Courses Nursing Research Nursing Resumes Nursing Salaries Nursing Scholarships Nursing Schools, Colleges Nursing Scrubs, Uniforms Nursing Shoes Nursing Shortage Nursing Students Nursing Torrent Downloads Nursing Uniforms Nursing Unions, Organized Labor, Healthcare Unions Nursing Wages Paychecks (Nursing) Prescription Drug Indexes Puzzles, Quizzes Refresher Courses Research (Nursing) Resumes (Nursing) Salaries (Nursing) Scholarships (Nursing) Schools of Nursing Scrubs, Nursing Uniforms Shoes (Nursing) Shopping (Going) on the Internet Shortage (Nursing) State Nursing Boards Student (Nursing) Torrent Downloads (Nursing) Training (Nursing) Traveling Nurses Uniforms, Scrubs, Nursing Unions (Nursing), Organized Labor, Healthcare Unions Wages (Nursing) Work At Home Opportunities The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/questions.answers.htm Created on January 15, 2000 Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Thursday, March 5, 2008 This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories We are Incorporated in The State of New Jersey, under the name: Nursefriendly, Inc. 38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua, New Jersey (NJ) 08051 Our Phone #: 856-415-9617 This website Is Copyrighted 1997 - 2008, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce. Other products and companies referred to herein are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective companies or mark holders, and are not owned or affiliated with Nursefriendly, Inc. or any of it's affiliated companies.