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McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician Jokes, Paramedic Humor

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Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise.

In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene.

Approximately 98% of physicians volunteering assistance are intoxicated, don't really want to volunteer in the first place, but are afraid of looking bad in front of their spouses and friends, who naturally expect them to offer assistance.

In light of rule No.3, invite them to help in some harmless but important-seeming activity. Run an ECG strip and ask them to “interpret” it, or hand them a spare stethoscope and ask them to “assess breath sounds ". Give them a face-saving way out.

If the physician is really starting to annoy you or interferes with treatment protocols, advise him/her that they must accompany the patient to the receiving hospital, in the ambulance. Allow them to advise their family and friends to which hospital the ambulance is going to. Then enroute (code 3 ) (10-30) change your destination.

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Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Thursday, March 5, 2008


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